This is me trying to escape out the back door of the hospital while everyone was engaged in a conversation.

Didn't work: they caught me.

Since Wednesday my temperature has been between 95.1 to 100.6. I find out today my white blood count is sluggish at best and now add anemia to the list. Ugh. The seemingly endless array of side effects is staggering. The treatment is FAR worse than the actual sickness.

I finished the red hawaiian punch today, now I move onto to Taxol, which I now find out is clear. Bummer. I kinda enjoyed the pink pee. AND the Taxol treatments take FIVE HOURS. Good Lord. Next one in two weeks? Gotta be at the hospital at 8am for blood tests, then move onto oncologist, then treatment for 5 hours! Oncologist is a bit concerned over the anemia and low white blood count, but he found me 'a go' for chemo today.

So let's review. I have no hair, I'm sort of like a seal without the whiskers, I have a sore throat, a small rash on my chest, bizarre at BEST bathroom habits (I know, too much information), so tired I feel as if I've lifted this house off the ground just to limber up, acid reflux that would supply electricity to the whole town, no appetite, feet that are burning and peeling like mad, panic and anxiety attacks, my gums are killing me. No need to go on. Now I had to sign a release today regarding the Taxol, because, wait for it, it can cause sterility, liver damage, heart damage and some other vital organ I can't recall. Well, the good news is you won't have cancer, but all your other body parts will simply fall off. Crikey

Are we having fun yet?

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I get a bill from the hospital Friday thanking me for entering into a payment plan, yeah, right, this bill will outlive me even if I get rid of the cancer and go on to become the healthiest and oldest woman in history. Then the very next day I get another bill for $24,782.94.

I guess I should let you read that again. That's for APRIL only.

The sickest part is I found out today a NEW bill hasn't gone out yet, so the actual NEW total is $39,995.46. Over $25,000 of that is the damn Neulasta shot at $8548.00 a pop. I take all the bills to the hospital and say, ummm, I thought I had a deal with you guys? She tells me oh don't worry about that bill, the Neulasta will come off, blah blah. Who knows if that is really true. IF it is, the actual bill is only (she laughingly says "only") $14,000.00. But to her credit, she did say, DON'T worry about the bill. They can't get blood from a rock, get well, then pay the installment amount. So hell, if she's not beating me over the head with it, why should should I have a nervous breakdown?

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My mom seems so much better than she had. Diabetes wise. She has cut sugar out entirely, she is much more alive, awake, and interested in things, and she lost about 20 lbs.

And it's so much easier having conversations with her, now that the giant white elephant in the room is out of the bag. Speaking of which, isn't that commercial where the elephant goes to the store for soup, medicine and a blanket for the guy who takes care of him the sweetest thing you've ever seen??? I love the name on the card. Ella Phant.

The Sopranos. Not much really happened, except AJ trying to drown himself with a Ziploc and a brick. See, my husband KNOWS what's going to happen and he's becoming a real pill about it. He kept asking me "don't you see what's happening?" In plain English NO I DON'T! Maybe I'm an idiot. but what *I* think is gonna happen is waaaaaaaaaay too obvious and simple minded. NOW I'm expecting something outrageous, like Meadow gets a gun to kill AJ, but before she can pull the trigger, he takes out a gun and kills Carm, then Tony shoots AJ for shooting Carm and accidentally hits Meadow, as she squeezes out one shot before dying, killing Tony.

After seeing Tony kill Christopher, I guess anything is possible.

Phil has it in BAD for Tony, and that seems the most obvious killing, but it's TOO obvious and therefore to predictable and stupid. UGH!

As if all this isn't maddening enough, now it's not on for TWO WEEKS!!!!!!