The end in sight?

Well, only 3 days till surgery. Hospital has called to pre register me, and ask what meds I take, do I have steel plate in my head and will I have heart attack on the table. With all that settled, all that remains is for me to call an 800 number tomorrow to find out what time to arrive.

As Ringo said in A Hard Days Night, "I like operations. Gives you a sense of outlook". I agree to a point, I want this thing out of me. You go in, go to sleep, wake up and the cancer is gone. Seems reaosnable to me. But the idea of going under a knife, being knocked out, etc, not to mention the scars left behind is a little frightening. But it has to be done, and upward and onward and all that.

Someone told me about a GREAT little treatment called Mammosite. [ http://www.mammosite.com ]

Now, I won't know if I qualify till after surgery because you must have clear margins on your tumor and also have no node involvement. If I do qualify, then I can get the radiation over with in FIVE DAYS! Instead of SIX WEEKS.

Seemingly, they insert a catheter balloon in there and you get targeted radiation and it works much quicker. But you must qualify with certain conditions. So after surgery I'll find out if I have clear margins and node involvement. This would be GRAND, as the hospital is 45 minutes away and I have no way of getting there every single day for 6 weeks. There HAS to be a better way.

Other than the cancer, everything is pretty much the same. Mom's house sold, she has the check, but she still hasn't gone to the bank. I cannot propel her to do anything. I had a stern talk with her the other day, saying I understand grief, life changes etc., but this is getting a bit long in the tooth to be sitting in one spot all day and not do anything. Literally. I tried to explain she is still alive, and small as it is, she has a family. She responded that she doesn't think it's grief so much, but.....she didn't know. So I don't feel any further ahead.

We're trying like hell to get her up here for Christmas. Took these photos of the cabin we found where she could stay with Max, our dog.






























Pretty nice, right? It's very cozy, has 2 bedrooms, a full bathroom, view on a lake, and I think very reasonably priced. All she keeps saying is 'we'll see". I can't hold this woman at the hotel off forever. My mom has to make a decision.


What I don't get is she offered to come up here while I'm having surgery. I said it simply wasn't feasible or practical or necessary. It's DAY surgery, you go in, you go out. She's willing to do that, but is giving us such a hard time about Christmas!

In any case, surgery in 3 little days. And....and...AND, I'm quitting smoking the same day.

I decided months ago that when they cut the cancer out, I'm gonna quit. So my last smoke will be Monday morning. Husband said he's gonna quit too. Let's see how we do!


If I don't post before then, see you on the other side of surgery.