Not quite cue ball, but...

I cut most of my hair off myself. Getting tired of clumps and bunches all over. So I just cut it down to the shortest I could and kept brushing and brushing getting as much out as I could.

Then I put my wig on! It's great I love it, it actually looks better than my hair, lol. Makes me feel better to look in the mirror too. I was wearing a hat IN the house because I felt so bizarre, but now I have the wig on.

Bills are dancing through the door at an alarming rate:

Radiology - $844
ONE consultation with oncologist - $348 (I've had 5 since then)
CT body scan - $2,568
Various other hospital stuff I don't know what they mean by -
$2,567

The only people to genuinely help so far are the Radiology people - I wrote them a letter with a measley check, and she called and said they will immediately give me 30% off the bill and I can pay them $10 a month.

All other hospital stuff, well, I was told Monday not to pay anything. I don't know what the outcome of that will be.

I see changes in my husband. He's becoming depressed, quiet and seemingly out of answers. I am trying my best to stay on top of everything and keep bright, so as not to stress him out or cause any problems for anyone, but I do see changes. There is so much work to do in the house, because our stupid basement keeps getting wet, therefore throwing us back 6 more months in getting this house done. We were *this close* to finished. Walls up, carpet down, then wet, wet, wet, now it stinks down there. I am very open to infection, so I can't go down there, in case a mold problem develops. The shit storm never ends, it's a seemingly endless parade of bad luck, bad news and just catastrophe.

I am one of these people that always feels guilty, even if it's NOT my fault. I am now feeling guilty about everything. My husband, my mom, who's still in the dark, financial burdens that would give Solomon a headache, basement, house problems. WHEN are we going to have one day one there isn't some disaster?

Don't ever let yourself get into a situation wehre you have no insurance. Don't keep thinking like we did, oh what could happen. Take care of yourself, eat well, take vitamins, eat organic, have mammograms.

You truly don't ever know what is lurking around the corner to grab you and say 'gotcha'.

Whatever your political affiliations, please please please vote for someone who will DO SOMETHING about the insurance crisis in this country. Yes, Iraq is a huge problem, but hey you know, George, there IS a country HERE that has problems. Poverty, homelessness, nothing done about Katrina and New Orleans, 47,000,000 people in this country with no health care, middle class disappeared, only rich and poor need apply. It's appalling. The richest country on earth can't even take take of it's OWN citizens.

Ugh. Forget it. Not a good day for me.